News & Features

Drive-Through Plastic Surgery?

Drive-through Plastic Surgery?You know something has become an entrenched part of the American culture and landscape -- like Billy the Kid, Baseball or July 4th -- when a street, month or sandwich is named after it.

The other dead-bang giveaway about full establishment in the culture is when commercials crack wise about the subject -- because everybody over two years old instantly knows what it is and that almost everybody is doing, using or buying it.

So was it any surprise when one company (who shall go nameless since we offer no free advertising) did a take-off on drive-through plastic surgery to attract attention to their product, an upscale imported, light beer?

Here’s how the radio commercial goes:

ANNOUNCER: We think the world moves a little too fast. Nobody wants to wait! First, it was fast food. Then drive-through fast food. Then, drive-through banking. What’s next? Drive-through plastic surgery?

DRIVE THRU: Welcome to Nip ‘n Tuck Express. May I take your order?

WOMAN: Uh, yeah, I’ll have the #7 Nip ‘n Tuck and my husband will have…an order of the Chiseled Abs.

DRIVE THRU: Okay, that will be $12,436. Drive up to the next window for your anesthesia.

ANNOUNCER: Next time, why not skip the drive-through and hit the beach instead? Then, just open up an ice cold (name of beer) prop up your feet and enjoy your beautiful, chubby toes.

WOMAN: Uh, could you add a D cup to go?

DRIVE-THRU: You want that super-sized?

HUSBAND: Yes, she does!

ANNOUNCER: Relax. Slow down. Stop moving at the speed of light….

WOMAN: Excuse me! I ordered the #7 Nip ‘n’ Tuck but this looks like the #6 Suction Surprise.

ANNOUNCER: And start moving at the speed of (our light beer.)

We can imagine a few more drive-through orders that might be popular with plastic surgery candidates in a hurry. The #2 Mighty Microdermabrasion could also work as a fresh face to go. A Bagels & Botox Combo could improve your morning stop for fresh eats with a quick shot or two of Botox to rid your face of any wrinkled looks caused by worry.

Meanwhile, plastic surgery is working its way into other media and aspects of the U.S. culture.

For instance, in the series, Smallville, (a sit com about Clark Kent’s teen years) the young Clark runs into -- and is stopped cold by -- a new foe in the form of a teenage girl whose plastic surgery was achieved with the help of the dreaded kryptonite.

And what could be more culturally significant than Superman, truth, justice and the American way?

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